Poornima Joshi.
For just those few seconds we were collectively transported to the rarefied high table of international missile launchers. Enterprising members of the media showed us what the scientists with their freshly vermillion-smeared foreheads had actually done. Why, we could land a nuclear warhead bang in the middle of Beijing. The razzle-dazzle at Wheeler Island was followed by an equally high-decibel debate. Arguments flowed furiously as Agni-V graphically nuked Beijing. A particularly creative image showed its pictorial journey as far west as Paris.
Of course, the fact that Mumbai was paralysed the same day because of a fire in Kurla station received token mention because we were busy transporting missiles.
Mercifully, the Chinese did not recall our “Mumbai into Shanghai” spiel in one of their contemptuous dismissals of our achievement and oblique reminder about the idiocy of spending millions on a missile when millions of Indians still go to bed hungry. The revered DRDO has since clarified that the missile cannot actually destroy continents other than ours. Private relief at this particular pronouncement naturally merits no articulation.
But something has been unmistakably familiar in the increasingly surreal discourse. What is being globally sprayed in industrial quantities is our truly indigenous hysteria and 24/ 7 chest-thumping.
Come to think of it, isn’t this is the singular trait consistent with our national character? Excess, exaggeration, overstatement qualify for quintessential Indian expression. An indigenous missile is, of course, provocation enough for the whole nation to go ballistic. But mostly, we need very little or nothing so profound to start beating the drums.
Yuvraj Singh’s unfortunate ailment is cause for national mourning. His return after the treatment is occasion enough to start lighting the lamps. Vidya Balan has only to perform calisthenics, admittedly extraordinary for someone of her girth, to be unleashed full scale on the unsuspecting millions as the next big thing.
Army Chief V. K. Singh is simultaneously a villain and a hero for pointing out the obvious – that there is corruption in the Armed Forces. Scientists gloating about missiles tell us nothing about why we cannot manufacture and still have to import something like trucks for the Army. And that is not saying anything about the alleged millions that were made in under-the-table deals for buying these trucks.
Chief Economic Advisor Kaushik Basu is being hauled over the coals for saying what anyone with peripheral intelligence would have gathered some years back. That the reforms process is stuck. The industry bodies have abused the government and the opposition has naturally started a fresh rant about policy paralysis. Never mind the pension bill, the FDI in multi-brand retail and many more policy initiatives that the principal opposition party started when in power and is now opposing for the sake of being in opposition.
Amid this cacophony, another traumatic spectre looms large. Anna Hazare has just forgiven Baba Ramdev for donning women’s clothing despite being morally opposed to cross-dressing. They have hugged, kissed (metaphorically) and announced another movement against corruption.
Not that one disbelieves Anna or doubts the DRDO’s abilities. All right, may be just a little. But is it too much to ask them to stop saying Jan Lokpal bill will eradicate corruption? And the next time the DRDO forecasts a nuclear winter for the beautiful Paris or the bountiful Beijing, could we please not have these musings depicted graphically? Some of us would still like to, at least occasionally, sip French wine. And hope to befriend Beijing. What one means is: really befriend Beijing without being called anti- national.
-via India Today.
Wonderful article. Close to my heart. But readers are the ones who enjoys such breast beating in the name of pseudo-patriotism.We need to build more toilets first or else remain constipated for years to come.
Incredible India !!
1. I WAS PRESIDENT FOR SELECTION OF OFFICER’S [ CAMPUS SELECTION &STUDENTS SELECTED WERE TO GO TO SSB FOR FINAL SELECTION] FROM ENGINEERING COLLEGES IN HARYANA & RAJSTHAN. I ALLOWED 100 % STUDENTS OF 4th YEAR & 3rd YEAR TOO]. THE QUESTION WERE PUT IN OPEN HALL TO ALL IN FRONT OF PROFESSOR’S. FULL TRANSPARENCY
2.QUESTION’S
A] WE GOT INDEPENDENCE IN 1947, CHINA IN 1949,JAPAN WAS RUINED IN 1945. TO-DAY CHINA IS SUPER POWER, JAPAN IS HIGH TECH WE ARE YET TO REACH THAT LEVEL.
” CHINA HAS COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT,JAPAN HAS MONARCHY, WE HAVE DEMOCRACY.WHICH TYPE OF GOVERNMENT YOU PREFER & WHY?”
B] ARMY REQUIRES A GOOD LEADER WHO HAS TO LEAD COUNTRY MEN IRRESPECTIVE OF ANY CAST/FAITH, QUICK IN TAKING ACCURATE DECISION BECAUSE HERE IS ONLY TAKE & NO RETAKE , EITHER YOU ARE A VICTOR OR DEAD YOU HAVE TO BE MENTAL & PHYSICAL ROBUST PERSON. YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN -42 DEGREES IN MOUNTAIN, + 49 DEGREES IN RAJSTHAN, MARSHY & DENSE JUNGLES IN ASSAM. FOR AWAY FROM FAMILIES & COMFORTS. WHAT INSPIRES YOU TO JOIN FORCES?
C]YOU HAVE GONE TO SEE A MOVIE WITH YOU WIFE,UNMARRIED SISTER & YOUR MOTHER. SOME ONE SAY’S THERE IS BOMB & WILL EXPLODE IN TWO MINUTES. A CONDITION IMPOSED ON YOU THAT YOU CAN TAKE SAFELY OUT ONE PERSON WITH YOU. WHICH ONE YOU TAKE A] MOTHER B] SISTER C] WIFE
3.ONLY THESE THREE QUESTION WERE ENOUGH FOR ME & PERSON PRESENT IN HALL FOR SELECTION. TEST USE TO FINISH IN HALF HOUR EVERY PERSON WILLING TO ANSWER WAS GIVEN CHANCE. THE RESULT USE TO BE HORRIBLE EVEN THEN WE USED TO CHURN FURTHER 10 TO 15 STUDENTS LITTLE SHINNING & FORWARD 2 TO 3 NAMES FOR SSB.OUT OF 100 NAMES FORWARDED ONLY 2/3 COULD MAKE
3. IN ARMY SELECTION IT WAS IN MIND NOT A JOB TO STUDENT ONLY BUT LIFE OF FAMILIES PLACED UNDER HIM .A BAD LEADER WILL FINISH INDIRECTLY 100 FAMILIES
4.NOW AS REGARDS AGNI V VS VEHICLES. I WAS HEAD OF A ADVISORY GROUP. IN PRESENTATION OF A VEHICLE FACTORY PERSON SHOWED 97 % INDIAN. I WAS IMPRESSED. WHEN I SAW 5 TO 6 PRESENTATION OF DIFFERENT FACTORIES A DIFFERENT PICTURE CAME IN MIND. A FULL VEHICLE IS SPLIT INTO VARIOUS UNITS AS PER ROLE. SAY GUN,MISSILE,ENGINE,CHASIS,SUB COMPONENTS, INSTRUMENTS,ELECTRONICS,NIGHT VISION DEVICES EXTRA IN DIFFERENT FACTORIES. LOW TECH WORK WERE SHOWN BEING DONE AS ACHIEVEMENTS & HIGH TECH STILL BEING IMPORTED BY EACH ONE DIFFERENTLY. THE COMBINED COST WILL THUS BE MUCH HIGHER THAN IMPORTING COMPLETE VEHICLE
5. IF A IN DEPTH AUDIT IS DONE IT WILL SHOW WE ARE NOT BEEN ABLE TO PRODUCE A TANK OR APC EVEN AT A HIGH COST
6. THERE IS NEED PUT PSU WITH COMPETITION OF PRIVATE .ONLY THEN WE CAN PROGREES & BE PROUD.
You’re so right – objectivity goes out of the window. We’re an emotional lot swinging between self-flagellation beyond compare to this kind of hyperbole. Hot climate? After the long history of subjugation, after a not-so-glowing era post-independence, I suppose, this country craves for news of such sporadic achievement to cling onto some threads of pride and success.